Loss Of A Loved One

It’s Been A Few Months Since The Passing Of My Father & Gradually I Have Learned To Overcome My Grieving. Some Days Are Rough & Most Days Im So Busy With The Kids That I Don’t Think About Things. Our Father/ Daughter Relationship Wasn’t Of Sunshine & Rainbows. Today, Since It’s Gloomy Rainy Weather & Is Somewhat Depressing.. I Been Just Thinking. Lately, My Family Has Been Discussing On Getting A Price Quote For His Headstone. I regret So Many Things & So Many Shoulda- Coulda’s keep running through my mind. I Try To Think The Good Out Of The Bad. Been Attending Church For Quite Some Time Now & God Gave Me The Strength, Peace And The Opportunity Of Forgiveness. Before His Illness I Sent Him A Father’s Day Card With Pictures Of The Kids & I Was Told That He Was Excited! I Was Slowly Making Progress To Be Part Of his Life After So Many Years Of Estrangement. Ending Of August, Few Days Before My Sister& Niece Would Leave Back Home From Vactioning Here With Me We Found Out That He Was Ill. I Can Honestly Say That Everytime I Would Hear A Txt/Call I Was Scared To Read/Hear The Out Come. Everyday As I Would Get Updates From My Sister Who Went Directly To The Hospital They Were Always Heartbreaking … Would Always Hear 10% Chance Of Survival. It Hurt Me So Much Because I Didn’t Want Him To Pass. I Flew Down In September & Went To Go Be With Him. Seeing Him With All These Connections, Suffering I Can Say As A Daughter Was One Of The Hardest Things For Me Too See. I Told Him Im Sorry & That I Loved Him. It Hurts Me So Much Because I Was Unable To Hear Him say That He Loved Me too! I Left Back Home & He Passed away few days Before My Birthday & Was Buried On My Bday. I didnt Attend Services Cause It Was hard For Me To Cope. Hopefully One Day I Can Have The Strength To Visit His Grave. RIP